In previous places, I’ve briefly heard of the term “highly sensitive person” or “HSP” but never gave it much attention. All I knew was that it describes sensitive people and that I relate.
It wasn’t until I scrambled upon this book and thought to give it a try, since I am so sensitive and this may help me somehow. A few days later, the book felt like an enlightenment, a therapy session I didn’t know I needed. It made me understand the roots of my sensitivity, reflect on my behaviors, and make peace with myself. So let’s see what this book hides for us.
About the author:
Elaine Aron is an American psychologist and author. She began researching high sensitivity in 1991 and published her first book about it in 1996, followed later by a full series of HSP books.
Growing up, she struggled with the chaos of family, emotional loads, and inexplicable sensitivity. She simply assumed that there was something wrong with her, before knowing that she, herself is a highly sensitive person.
Starting this research along with her husband (Arthur Aron, a psychology professor) was a personal journey towards self-understanding. She wanted to prove to everyone that this is real and help others like her accept and embrace their sensitivity levels.
About the book: the highly sensitive person
The highly sensitive person is a psychology book and a guide for anyone who relates. It defines an HSP as someone more sensitive than others and prone to get overstimulated easily. And not to keep you second guessing, the book has a little self-test included to help you get the answer.
The chapters of the book take you on a trip to all the aspects of the life of an HSP. We’re talking about lifestyle, childhood and trauma, social interactions and close relationships, mental health and therapy, physical health and medications, and much more.
As I previously said, it is made in the form of a guide with some reflection tasks here and there. It helps you apply what you read and project the research on your own life similar to a self-therapy activity.
It is important to mention that this trait is proven to be inherited and attached to genetics, it also means that the person is born with a highly sensitive nervous system, which explains the physical reactions to overstimulation. Besides, she made it clear that being an HSP is just a trait like all others, not a label to make you superior or a diagnosis to base your life on. Your high sensitivity is a part of you, you simply have to understand it, learn how it empowers you, and how to cope with its struggles.
With that being said, my favorite thing about the book is how it shows you all the good and bad insights of being an HSP. The author wants you to see your trait as neutral, with all the pros and cons.
So being an HSP gives you high levels of empathy, makes you understand people deeper, and accentuates your creativity by how much art moves you. You also grasp material easier than others and I quote from the book “able to learn without being aware we have learned”. On the other hand, an HSP’s daily life can be tiring, full of uncontrolled overstimulation caused by noise, hunger, or just too many details. You may struggle to sleep with all the cortisol in your body, find the need to withdraw from others, set strong boundaries to keep your emotions respected and understood.
My personal opinion:
As outlined in the beginning, I am a highly sensitive person who heard of the term before but never really cared.
It wasn’t until I added this book to my TBR that I started taking it seriously. I was excited to know more about sensitive people and what science has to say about that.
Like the author and many people mentioned in the book, I’ve always been sensitive since day one. I was called the “shy girl”, “cry-baby”, and “dramatic” for showing more emotion or getting affected by things that seem to be “less important”.
But the thing is, I never really hated myself for that, I just knew that it made sense for me and that’s all that matters. Except, it was so annoying that others did not get it, and almost lonely as if I saw things that no one else did. I felt like a stranger so many times because I didn’t know “what was wrong with me”. (If you read the book, you’ll see examples of people thinking the same)
It would sound very cliché if I say “This book changed my life” so I’d rather put it that way: It made me make peace with parts of myself. It helped me improve my relationship with my inner self and the way I perceive all interactions and activities. Instead of pushing too hard to overcome my sensitivity, I learned to take it all in and embrace my little special power.
You know those moments when you close the book and go like: “ahaaaa so Thaaat’s what it iiiis” I’ve had at least twenty of those! Many chapters felt like they were made only for me as if adding my name would be the very last detail to make it mine.
Favourite quotes:
- A life lived in deep communication with the unconscious is far more influential and personally satisfying.
- Thus, to perform our role well, we have to feel very good about ourselves.
- Spend enough time putting yourself out there in the world – your sensitivity is not something to be feared.
- HSPs know all about being “too tired to sleep.” They are actually too frazzled to sleep.
- The unconscious contains important wisdom to be learned.
- You found that your body was a friend to trust. At the same time, you were learning that you had a special body, a sensitive nervous system.
- If your body fails to achieve to your satisfaction, can you love it, anyway?
- We humans seem to have a strong need to grow, to expand not just to have more territory, possessions, or power but to expand in knowledge.
- Now, may your sensitivity be a blessing to you and others. May you enjoy as much peace and pleasure as is possible in this world.
Conclusion:
To sum it up, whether you’re an HSP or you have one around you, this book is for you. It compresses years of research into a few pages to give you everything you need to know about it! Honestly, it may even be the first step of a long self-understanding journey. So do not hold yourself back from it and give it a try.
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